Million Dollar Newbie by Jai Sharma
Part 1- Breaking The Chains (Oct 2014)
“Sir, you are good to go.”, said the officer at the security check.
As I passed the security line, I grabbed a seat at the corner waiting for the boarding call. Hundreds of thoughts gushed my mind. As I clasped my fists in one another, I could feel my nerve raise high.
“Is this decision right? Should I go back home?”, the constant urge to drive back home gave a jerk to my mind.
Suddenly the noises inside the airport ceased to an awkward silence inside my mind.
“What if I fail in my conquest? What if all this risk and the daring thing becomes the very reason for gossip and laughing stock among everyone?”, that one scene of failure gave goosebumps to me.
“Why am I even doing this? Is this just to gain some adventure in my life, to escape from the harsh realities of my life? Is it even worth it?”, I suddenly lost vision of my motive for being at the airport.
“The last time I had been optimistic towards life, I had been hit bad. Am I too optimistic again? Becoming that innocent and impractical child who is hoping for chocolate bars always instead of candy bars, desperate for a change.”, I cursed myself for being very optimistic in life.
These unkempt thoughts kept pushing my mind and these ticked one after the other as I thought of going back to home and to the mundane life that circled around office where there were people whose thought process never matched to mine, to the job I didn’t love, home where my father was going to retire from his defence services and my mother always pushing me to imitate the trend followed by the majority and where I had become infamous among my siblings for my decisions, to continuous efforts leading to no promotions and to my recursive and sluggish life.
“What am I going to do?”, The thought pushed high, and I could clearly see myself enter into oblivion. The rush of anxiety had molded itself into similar levels of adventure and excitement.
I knew it in my heart that my life was a stable and secure one. I had seen many of my friends struggle hard to lead this life I was going to give up. My colleagues who were of my age did extra shifts and things to sustain in this rat race and what was I doing? I was breaking up with my secure bank balance for something very uncertain, for something I had longed for.
“Will I be able to pull it up?”, Another line crossed as I thought back of returning to stability. I could feel myself surrounded by people who knew their destination. Every face was lit up. Some were happy as they had finally met their relatives, others were anxious as they were leaving their loved ones and so on. Every emotion was defined. But mine?
There were these five minutes. I had to take a decision. Imagine your life to be dependent on the course of five minutes. Mine was at this moment. One step back to my stable, secure yet robotic life and another to my dreams which could lead me into the path of the biggest risk of my life and break me financially as hell. I had to choose.
“Choose.”, My neurons tried to accept the message of my heart, but my brain had another track. I could hear this word “Choose” echo in my head.
The dilemma of choosing my passion over stability had created a concussion in my throat. I could feel that gut. Moreover, it was the first flight of my life. I could clearly listen to the gurgling in my stomach as the muscles squabbled. I had taken the first ever flight of my life for the reason so uncertain. The risk was high but so was my determination. I knew at the moment that either I would lose or I would reach heights. If the things didn’t go in my favor, I could lose everything, and if they did, they might create a new path for me to chase my passion.
“A ship in the harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for”, suddenly this famous quote by a great nineteenth-century theologian, William Shedd stuck my mind as I was entangled in my thoughts. I had heard this famous saying in one of the speeches by big shot tycoon of IT industry, and it had stayed with me ever since. The web that I had woven was complex, yet this one thought put energy in me as if hot blood once again gushed into my veins. This brought me confidence and guided me way out of this web of emotions and dilemma.
“At least I will know I tried.”, a sense of satisfaction touched me.
“Borah has confidence in me. He thinks I can. He believes it. I will do it. I have to take this leap of faith and trust the person who has been a brother to me more than a friend for all these years.”
“This is my last chance.”, positivity gleamed somewhere inside me.
“Maybe I failed that time but this time, I won’t. I can’t fail at this moment. If I do, there will be no meaning to my life, my career, my passion and moreover my existence. I have made this decision, and I am ready to take this risk.”, I could feel my inner me boosting me up.
“I can, and I will cross whatever comes across, obstacles, pain or any damn thing. I will do whatever is needed to be done.”
“This is the time. I needed to be that bird who breaks the cage, fly high according to its own dreams. I wanted to do it for myself and test myself by exceeding my limits. I had to proof to myself that whatever decision I have taken today is right. I am right at this moment, and I am ready to take off.”, An incessant urge of regaining my worth thrived in me. In spite of every wrong that had happened in the previous year, I somewhere believed that nothing false could happen now and going to Hyderabad was the risk worth taking.
As I was lost in my self-made loop of thoughts, I didn’t realize that the boarding call was already made. Then I heard the machinery voice calling, “It is the last call for passengers flying to Hyderabad.”
The chimed voice interfered my numbness, and I realized that I had to rush now. I got up. I could still feel the stiffness in my legs. As I reached to the entrance, I pulled out the boarding pass from my pocket. The boarding pass spoke, “Delhi to Hyderabad. Have a safe journey.”
I fastened my seatbelt as the first flight of my life took off. It was the beginning of my new journey.
Back in my seat, I slouched and closed my eyes, already wet, filled with mixed emotions. Once again, the train of thoughts started, and I could easily recall everything. The story of my life till now mirrored in my memory.
It is a story, not so ordinary and no less than a typical movie plot. To all the people who love hearing my story, a question perhaps runs in my mind for them. “Will they want such an adventurous life? Will they readily face all the roller coasters and highs and lows of life?”
My definition of life had changed the day when I was unafraid of having a gun point blank on my forehead.
I sometimes wonder, “Is this a joke? Who is this super creator and master of all these games that happen in our lives?”
“I am not saying that my life is wondering but why can’t I have normal issues like normal people? Why are my dreams so big that in order to achieve them, I put everything at risk. Is this the very cause of every problem or I may say that one problem I had?”
Those flashbacks of the recent one year started appearing on the film of my memory where I had fallen in love, done some stupid crazy things, missed death by whiskers, let my family down and put to stake many things that mattered to me,became small-time celebrity for small section of people in IT world for extraordinary achievement, person who knows real meaning of freedom for I have seen the cage & know basic human sentiments in those situations and Life where I began to question bedrock concept of life, god, human existence and my existence.
With this flight, I am leaving that life far behind me. Yet those thoughts run as sequences and trip over my mind even when I am 35 thousand above the ground.
Chapter 1- Game of Dreams & Reality – Shades of Me
—- Will Share Soon —
Jai Sharma is an Internet Marketer and … Loremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum Loremm Loremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum LoremmLoremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum LoremmLoremm Ipsum Loremm Ipsum Loremm